from the alt>vault --- The Credit Card Wallet

Originally posted of 4/28/07:



I am jealous of guys who can use a simple card wallet like this one pictured. I envy guys with small ones.
I guess when it comes to wallets I would be considered a reverse size queen.

I have always chosen wallets that are big and bulky because there is just too much baggage I need to have around me at all times. I hate it. I wish I was one of those laissez faire types that could care less whether or not he has his "AMC Movie Watcher" card with him 24/7 but this simply isn't the case.
I mean, you never know when you want to pull over and see a movie...right?
I know, it's a sickness.

In Starbucks speak, my wallet would be classified as a "venti" for sure. When I put it in my back pocket it is so big my left ass cheek looks swollen. I look deformed.
I am not an elephant! I am not an animal! I am a human being!
Sometimes people think I have a pack of cigarettes there and mistake me for a smoker. Can you imagine that? Me, the health nut mistaken for a smoker.
Not that there is anything wrong with smokers.... except...the smoke.

My friend Anthony has a card wallet. When the two of us are in a restaurant I will conveniently slip out of sight at the sight of a bill for two reasons. First off, I am cheap I like the feeling of being taken out. Second, I admire from a distance the way he whips out his sleek card wallet to remove cool cash to pay for our meals. So simple. When he places the slim wallet back in his front pocket it is hardly noticeable to the human eye and does not take away from his non bulge elsewhere. Amazing.

The concept of "downsizing" to accommodate the card wallet is too much for me. How do you make it day to day with just the couple of items to put in a card wallet? Guys with card wallets carry their license, cash, health insurance card and....that's about it.

What about everything else? What about all the other necessities?
What about your Starbucks card? I don't think I could make it past 8am without that one.
I carry the UPROMISE card with me at all times because a percent of the purchases made with the card go towards paying for my little nieces college education. I would feel awful if the girls couldn't go to college simply because I chose to use a card wallet instead of a "venti".
Don't guys with card wallets have nieces like I do?
Oh and what about this one....
An organ donor card.
Is someone going to do without a spleen simply because someone else (me) didn't want an unsightly bulging left ass cheek?

I suppose guys with card wallets have some kind of transport system that makes working with them more manageable. I figure that a guy treats the card wallet like a "satellite" and probably has a "mother ship" wallet somewhere else. Maybe in the car. This way he could add and subtract from the card wallet as he sees fit.
Put in your gym membership card, take out your Barnes and Noble card...and so on and so on. But surely it isn't safe or smart leaving your belongings in the car like that. Plus the "mother ship" concept takes away from the whole idea of simplifying your life...doesn't it?

Finally, there is the matter of cash. The slit in a card wallet is really too small to hold more than a couple of bills in my opinion. This would be the deal breaker for me.
What if I was in a rush and wanted to get a 59 cent cookie at 7/11 and all I had in my card wallet was a twenty dollar bill? I couldn't imagine trying to stuff all the change I would get back in that little slit. It would be embarrassing. Do I have to run around 7/11 frantically searching to find other items to purchase to avoid getting back a lot of bills?
No...I would probably become exasperated and say to the 7/11 lady, "Look, keep the change...please. As you can see I am trying to simplify my life with this card wallet and all this change does not fit into my new lifestyle."

The more I think about it, the more I am certain I am not cut out for a card wallet.
Perhaps a money clip?

UPDATE: Since I wrote this I have unsuccessfully tried to use 2 different credit card wallets. I gave up on them and have been trying to work with money clips. The verdict is out.

from the alt>vault --- Razor Blades! A rant!

Hey there. Remember me?

alt>mike returns with new posts next week...
In the meantime I am revisiting some of the crowd favorites from the alt>vault all week long.... Look back and re-read and remember the good times...
you'll laugh...
you'll cry....

This post originally from March of this year....

RAZOR BLADES LEAVE ME BURNED!

I cannot believe how much money I am spending on razor blades. Why isn't there a revolt? I wake up each morning hoping that some hairy bear somewhere has put together a boycott asking us to forgo shaving for a month to display our disapproval over the price of these absurd items. Twelve Mach 3 blades cost me $22.99. Insanity. Each blade is only good on my heavy beard for two shaves before I have to replace.
And this whole business of multiple blades. Can you even find a package of single blade cartridges anywhere? I don't know about you but as a "manscaper" I find it a bit "edgy" using 3 blades...down....there.
If you happen to be the one guy that is still shaving with a single edge let me offer you a simple piece of advice. Don't start experimenting with multiple edges like the Mach 3 or the Quattro. If you do you will never come back. Single edges will just not "cut it" anymore.
Basically, something happens to your beard and it becomes spoiled and demanding- resistant to anything but multiple sharp edged expensive blades.
As for the razor companies it's really just Gillette and Schick. Damn them. So close to a monopoly. Not fair. They control the pricing and we follow like sheep. Shouldn't there be price control guidelines for products we have to use every day? Stamps? Starbucks? Razors?
When Gillette has a new product they usually send suckers like me a sample razor in the mail and like a moron I try it out. A month ago I got this ridiculous "Fusion" blade sample that has a total of 6 sharp edges (5 on the blade plus a sixth side burn trimmer).
How exactly would you explain to aliens from another planet that you use a 5 bladed razor on your face?
It sounds stupid just typing it out.
Well of course the experience of using this blade has made my beard "immune" to all other razors that have come before it. I cannot get a close shave with anything other than the Fusion. I jumped from 3 edges to 5 edges....my beard actually "leapfrogged" over the Quattro (4 edges).
I don't think my beard likes even numbers.
The cost per Fusion blade is something like $3.50. Crazy!

I am sad to say that I have a feeling it will only get worse.
Where exactly will we be a year from now? 8 edges that will actually remove 3 layers of your skin when you shave?

I can almost see the sure to be "Saturday Night Live" skit where Andy Sanberg goes to shave but his skin is removed completely by the eight edged razor blade known as the "Oucho"....

Andy Roddick

Airbrushed:


Had to laugh when I saw the story of tennis star Andy Roddick, this Men's Fitness cover, and the obvious airbrush job on his guns....which he openly admits.


Just to clarify....
You can play tennis and have big guns.



Not airbrushed:


I'm just sayin'...

How rude of me

Hi there.

I am taking a wee break from blogging because I have been busy with this and that.

I didn't really tell you I was leaving for a little bit...HOW RUDE OF ME.


I will be back real soon because I have some things to say.

See you soon and thanks for keeping up with me......

.alt>mike

.alt> recollection- The earwig

So I stopped to have a mid-afternoon snack the other day, and while I was reading about the spider that crawled into the little boy's ear, I remembered something from long ago and far away....


The following is an .alt>mike recollection....



When I was growing up in the middle ages there was a sci fi show called "Night Gallery" I would always watch even though it was on past my bedtime. It was an anthology series hosted by Rod Serling that was somewhat similar to his hit TV show called "The Twilight Zone"from the 1960s. "Night Gallery" stories were mysterious and spooky, and altogether ooky-
oh wait, hang on that was something else....
.
Anyway, one story involved this man who was complaining of an earache and how his Doctor discovered that an earwig had made it's way into his ear canal. Side note- the whole "earwigs like to hang out in people's ears" thing is an old wives tale.
They were going to operate on him the next morning....but when he woke up the Doctor examined him and determined that miraculously the earwig made it's way through his brain and came out the other ear! It was like a one in ten million chance that that could happen!

That was the good news.

The bad news was that the earwig was a female and laid a whole bunch of eggs in his brain and they were about to hatch. The last scene was the man's reaction to the news of the soon to be hatching eggs- a loud scream that scared the shit out of me for the remainder of my childhood.
Just wanted to share.

Have a great day everybody!

As heard in Starbucks

As heard in Starbucks on Colonial Avenue yesterday 10:05AM

Lady #1: Did you hear it's going to drop to 65 degrees tonight?

Lady #2: Yeah I knew this whole global warming stuff was bullshit.

ALTernative Reality- GayDays

It's coming. Like an approaching hurricane for which there is no escape-
Gay Days- The mega weekend plus at Disney and surrounding attractions.
And it's less than 30 days away.

"OMG! Got to get to the gym!
OMG! Got to get a bathing suit for Beach Ball!
OMG! Got to start barfing up anything fattening I am eating!"

This is an Orlando thing.
If you are a gay man in Orlando there is a good chance you:
a. are saying this now.
b. know someone saying this now.
c. are overhearing someone saying this now.

Muscles

According to "muscular" sources,
www.bigmuscle.com is OUT.
www.realjock.com is IN.
I know this because a guy in the gym said so eloquently today,
"There are a bunch of girlie men on bigmuscle.com....and just cuz they got muscles don't make em jocks".

I just thought you all would like to know.

ALTernating Channels- Barbara Walters is a Cheeseball

Oy! The continuing deteriorating Barbara Walters.
Sanity is slipping away.
Here are "excerpts" from her 20/20 special the other night on transgendered children.
Enjoy.

We have something you don't have!!!!

I love Orlando!
Can you believe that someone here came up with the idea of a musical featuring the songs of 80's pop princess Debbie Deborah Gibson? "Electric Youth" premiering this Saturday at the Starlight Dinner Theater features fourteen of Debbie Gibson's most-loved songs, including "Out of the Blue," "Only in My Dreams," and "Lost in Your Eyes."
Other than agreeing to let the producers use her music, she had nothing to do with putting together this show (She might find herself saying that a lot on May 6).

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Mixed emotions! I love Debbie Deborah. But Oy! The story is kind of wild. They are definitely going with an Abba/Mamma Mia type show....though they seemed to forget the most important element of that hit musical.
KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID.
You can explain the plot of Mamma Mia in one sentence----
"On the eve of her wedding, a young woman reads her mother's diary and invites her three possible fathers to the attend the wedding."

Now compare that with the plot of "Electric Youth" taken from a press release.
Hold on and try to follow along....it won't be easy. I am NOT making this up:
"The story follows the adventures of a young couple from New York City named Randy and Tasha, who are recently engaged. The duo travel to the rural community of Fern Hill, Minnesota, to announce the news to Randy's parents. Upon their arrival, Randy and Tasha discover that Fern Hill is facing bankruptcy, and that the Wilsons are in danger of losing their farm, thanks to the mean-spirited machinations of wealthy town spinster, Emma Van Horn. Randy and Tasha, because of their experience working in a bank, hatch a plan to restore Fern Hill's economy by creating more places in the sleepy town for its local teens to frequent......

Wait there's more---
When Emma hears of their plans, she convinces her nephew, Keith, a more underhanded specimen than she is, to find out the specifics, so she can thwart Tasha and Randy's efforts. Keith finds just such an opportunity when he learns that Randy's younger sister, Kris, has been harboring a secret crush on him, and uses this to his full advantage. When Keith meets Tasha, however, he in turn falls madly in love with her, and schemes to drive her and Randy apart.

And then the big climax---
How Tasha and Randy find their way back to each other, outwit Emma and Keith, and save Fern Hill, is the premise that drives the story of Electric Youth.

My God dreadfully wonderful....right? Maybe a kink or two they have to work out before it gets to Broadway...you think?

Listen I have to admit something....

I was partial to Tiffany even though Debbie grew up one town over from me in Merrick Long Island. Let's face it, as much as they tried to downplay it, it was definitely Tiffany vs. Debbie and this was light years before Britney vs. Christina.


Debbie was the prom queen.
Tiffany represented all the peeps from the wrong side of the tracks. She was the dirty girl. While Debbie was singing "Lost Inside Your Eyes", Tiffany was "I Think We're Alone Now".

Debbie was all about making out.
Tiffany was all about....sex.

Am I the only human being in the world who sees how picture perfect the casting would be of these two in a touring company of WICKED...the MUSICAL?

Well that is down the road for sure.
First up is "Electric Youth" at the lovely Starlight Dinner Theater here in Orlando starting May 5.
Here is the kicker.
Deborah Gibson herself is scheduled to attend the opening night performance. I definitely need to go that night to see this show.
but I need to go and experience this with a true thespian.
Hmmmmmmm......I know.
I'll get actorschmactor to go with me.

My Homeland Security Giant Fantasy

The state of the nation is such that I feel.. lost. Alone. Unsure.
First, the war.
Now, Rosie leaving "The View".
It is all too much.

I want to feel safe.
I want to feel secure.

Therefore, I want a 6 foot 3 or taller person to lay on top of me.

Is that so wrong?

I want to be face down. I want to be enveloped by my giant's bigness.
This is not about sex, it is about security. If you want sex go here or here.

In fact, I would prefer my giant to remain fully clothed.
My giant could be straight or gay.
My giant could be a man or a woman, but it will probably end up being a man because I want my giant to be all natural, no steroids and I know how hard it is to find a good natural amazon woman these days.

Frankly, I haven't had the best of luck finding interested candidates for the position of "homeland giant". I noticed a new guy at work last week ...probably 30 years old or so. He looked promising. When he got up to go the water cooler I ran over to him and asked him how tall he was. He said 6 foot 5. Bingo. I welcomed this 6 foot 5 co-worker to the office. I then asked this 6 foot 5 co-worker if he would consider laying on top of me. I told him all the specifics of my request. He first laughed, and when I didn't laugh back he looked...confused. Confusion led to an awkward uncomfortableness. He declined my request and said that the best he could do was "friend" me on myspace. He slowly backed away looking directly at me. He didn't blink...I noticed that. He never turned around as if he didn't want to take his gaze off of me. What was he afraid of? Later I would learn that my 6 foot 5 co-worker was recently married. He was a newlywed just back from his honeymoon. I certainly would have had his bride "sign off on everything. I would have had her sign a permission slip like we had in grade school. It would have said something like:
"I (so and so) give permission for my husband (6 foot 5 co-worker) to lay on top of (me) for a period of time not to exceed 3 hours."
I would have certainly done this if it would have made the 6 foot 5 co-worker more comfortable.

I then thought maybe I could find my 6 foot 3 or taller giant on the internet. I have been searching the blogosphere for a candidate and I think this one is the perfect physical specimen I require. After reading his blog it appears he may have some bladder issues that may destroy the fantasy I am trying to create. Actually, he seems just too damn intelligent and witty. He would most certainly want to engage in conversation and that would be a big problem.

You see, I don't want my giant to talk at all. Not one word.
I just want a massive lug to mount me (non sexually).
"Shhhhhhhhh my lug......don't speak".


So now I am reaching out to you...my faithful .alt>mike readers....
If you are taller than 6 foot 3 would you consider helping a shaky, neurotic Jewish man feel more safe and secure?

Here is how I envision my homeland security giant fantasy:

You come into my bedroom (not a word....not one) and I am already laying face down with my head turned to the left so I can watch TV.
You carefully lower yourself down on me so that every part of me is under the weight of your bigness. Be gentle, I am but a mere 5 foot 11 and weigh only 168.
The rest is simple-
Just lay there.
Don't do a thing.
You may breathe as long as it is rhythmic and soothing.
After a period of time, when I decide that I feel safe and secure, you will carefully lift yourself off of me. Make sure you press down on the bed to lift up, do not press down on me. Otherwise, you may crush my piano playing hands and my mother would never forgive you.
Then collect yourself and leave.

Oh.
Just one other small item.
I hope this is not a deal breaker.

When you are laying on top of me... I would like to be watching the Tennis Channel.
Ultimately, I would like to be watching one of the Grand Slam finals....like the French Open.
Please don't ask me to explain this but it is a small touch and would mean the world to me. Thank you.

If you are interested, or if you know someone that maybe interested please leave a comment or get in touch ASAP.

This may not solve the nation's homeland security issues, but I am completely confident that having a 6 foot 3 or taller giant laying on top of me will certainly help me feel more....grounded.

.alt>idol- Lucky Bucky

Good Gawd Bucky! What the fucky!

When he was on American Idol I thought he was... kind of sucky.
Yet Bucky Covington is the latest American Idol NON winner to land a CD in Billboard's Top10. His self titled debut is "Bucky Covington" debuts at #4 on the Hot 200 album chart and debuts #1 on the country charts. You know how those country music fans are, they will listen and buy anything!

I guess it makes little difference whether you win or lose American Idol...the exposure helps you sell records. Wait I take that back. It seems it is better if you don't win American Idol. Case in point- winner Taylor Hicks. Remember him? Taylor is like the unwanted step child of AI. It is like the show is embarrassed about him. His album really didn't do much on the charts and can you even remember the name of his hit single? That was a trick question. Of course you can't! He hasn't had one. They didn't even let him perform during "Idol Gives Back" this week. Not very charitable.

Interesting fact-
At this point last year, there were nine Idol-related singles on the charts, including Bo’s “The Real Thing,” Kelly’s “Walk Away,” “Because of You,” and “Gone,” and Carrie’s “Jesus, Take the Wheel,” “Don’t Forget to Remember Me,” and “Before He Cheats.” George Huff (who?) and Josh Gracin also had singles on the charts.
This year, there are 16 singles, charting across nine different charts, a 43 percent increase.

Amazing. Not to mention all the artists who perform and mentor on the show and how the albums by the likes of Barry Manilow, Tony Bennett and Gwen Stefani see major sales spikes the week following their involvement on the show.

Which idolers are next on the horizon with new albums?
Well Kimberly Locke will be back May 1 with a new collection titled "Based on a True Story". Her single “Change”is already inching closer to the Top Ten on the Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks chart. It now sits at #11. There is a dance version of this song floating out in the clubs. My God did I dance to it and didn't realize it at the Parliament House two weeks ago? Go Kimberly! She is one of my fave alumnus.

Paris Bennett's Princess P follows on May 8.
After that it is Mandisa with her new single "Only One World" dropping on May 11, with the CD to follow on July 31.

And you know it's only a matter of time....
I can almost hear Sanjaya doing his vocal exercises...

Me, me me me MEEEEEEE!

.alt>rant and rave!

Spiderman 3.
Batman Returns 12.
Superman 7,000,000.

I am so over movie superheroes and the endless line of sequels.
I am so over everything.

The Rave!

7/11 has a new arrival. It's the white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookie and you can find it along with the whole family of 7/11 cookies in the "bakery" that sits in the middle of each store. You grab a bag and pick n' choose and mix n' match the cookies you want.
It is surprising that Southland Corporation, the headquarters of 7/11, did not allow their number one cookie fan (me) a preview of the new arrival since I have been known to eat a couple of these gems from time to time.*
The white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookie is not as good as their old faithful chocolate chip but light years better than the dreaded coconut pecan cookie. I only get that cookie if everything else is sold out. No chocolate chip, no oatmeal raisin, no peanut butter etc. The coconut pecan is like a tourniquet. To be used only at the last resort.

The good news is that 7/11 is making a big deal about the fact that these cookies have no trans fats- you know the stuff that we eat that we cant taste or understand but we are sure is killing us. They have rolled back the pricing so that a single cookie is now 49 cents instead of 59 cents. You get a discount based on the amount of cookies you purchase. I am usually good for 3, but since they no longer have trans fat what the hell I will start picking up four at a time.
How is that for rationalization?
Now instead of being filled with trans fat, I will just be.....fat.

Japan to the U.S.- "I'm King/Queen of the World

After reviewing information provided to me by the Research and Demographics Department here at .alt>mike.com, it appears that our "frequent users"(those who check out .alt>mike regularly) are comprised of two very distinctive "groups" of people. Without getting into too much detail or devulging propriatery information, I can sum it up this way....
There are them....and there is you.
My goal is to keep everyone happy and try to keep .alt>mike one of the fastest growing blog sites on the web.* So for this reason I have decided to post this entry regarding the rise of Japan at America's expense in two forms- I have one version of the post for them, and then another version of the post for you. Hopefully one of these versions will be effective in illustrating the point in a manner that you, our loyal reader, can relate. The versions are presented in no particular order. Here we go.



Alternative Version #1:

Japan is taking over the world! And I don't have a problem with that. Just a fact.

The magnitude, size and scope of the shift in power from the U.S to Japan is becoming evident. For the first time ever in history, Toyota sold more cars and trucks around the world than General Motors in the first quarter of 2007 according to this article from the New York Times.


Alternative version #2:

Japan is taking over the world! And I don't have a problem with that. Just a fact.

The magnitude, size and scope of the shift in power from the U.S to Japan is becoming evident. For the first time ever in history, Japan's ladies garnered both the Gold and Silver medals at the 2007 World Figure Skating Championships while the U.S. ladies could do no better than 4th and 9th place according to this article from the New York Times.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UPDATE! Apparently, some of my loyal readers may need guidance to help determine which version is right for them. If that is your case, leave a comment and I will do my best to help you figure it out.

Rosie leaving "The View"

Rosie will announce her resignation on today's "The View". This story was first brought to our attention by .alt>mike chief New York correspondent "Bobby In the City" this morning at 7am. Bobby may be old...but he still sharp as a tack.

Sad sad. I feel sad because I love Rosie and I feel sad because she just can't seem to settle down and enjoy the success.

American Idol- Who will be eliminated this week?

No one.

Is American Idol going to eliminate someone tonight? Me thinks not. Big charity event, charity concert....they will probably announce that text messaging has also been "donated" by sponsor and everybody will feel good about themselves.

Particularly Lekisha who would have gone home tonight.

The card wallet

I am jealous of guys who can use a simple card wallet like this one pictured. I envy guys with small ones.
I guess when it comes to wallets I would be considered a reverse size queen.

I have always chosen wallets that are big and bulky because there is just too much baggage I need to have around me at all times. I hate it. I wish I was one of those laissez faire types that didn't feel the need to have his "AMC Movie Watcher" card with him 24/7 but this simply isn't the case. I mean, you never know when you want to pull over and see a movie...right?

In Starbucks speak, my wallet would be classified as a "venti" for sure. When I put it in my back pocket it is so big my left ass cheek looks swollen. I look deformed. I am not an elephant! I am not an animal! I am a human being! Sometimes people think I have a pack of cigarettes there and mistake me for a smoker. Can you imagine that? Me, the health nut mistaken for a smoker. Not that there is anything wrong with smokers.... except...the smoke.

A card wallet would fit perfectly in the "scaled down" way I would like to live my life. I am always looking for new ways to make things simpler for myself. Here is an example- A couple of months ago I became overwhelmed with the all the clutter building up in my home office. I took piles and piles of papers that were scattered all over my desk and on top of file cabinets and on the floor and simply threw everything in the trash at one fell swoop. It was liberating! What a release! The funny thing is here I am sitting in my clutter-free home office a couple of months later and I am not missing a thing!
Well this is not entirely true since it seems that along with everything else, I threw out my passport and now I can't go to Toronto next month and play tennis like I had planned.
Oh well...but at least my office is neat.

My friend Anthony has a card wallet. When the two of us are in a restaurant I will conveniently slip out of sight at the sight of a bill for two reasons. First off, I am cheap I like the feeling of being taken out. Second, I admire from a distance the way he whips out his sleek card wallet to remove cool cash to pay for our meals. So simple. When he places the slim wallet back in his front pocket it is hardly noticable to the human eye and does not take away from his non bulge elsewhere. Amazing.

But the concept of "downsizing" to accommodate the card wallet is too much for me. How do you make it day to day with just the couple of items to put in a card wallet? Guys with card wallets carry their license, cash, health insurance card and....that's about it.

What about everything else? What about all the other necessities?
What about your Starbucks card? I don't think I could make it past 8am without that one.
A Bloomies card? I don't know about you but I think I would feel naked without this on me.
A Planet Smoothie "Frequent Sipper" card...?
I carry the UPROMISE card with me at all times because a percent of the purchases made with the card go towards paying for my little nieces college education. I would feel awful if the girls couldn't go to college simply because I chose to use a card wallet instead of a venti.
Don't guys with card wallets have nieces like I do?
An ABC liquor card. Ok I could probably lose that one since I don't really drink.
Oh yeah what about this one....
An organ donor card. Is someone going to do without a spleen simply because someone else didn't want an unsightly bulging left ass cheek?

I suppose guys with card wallets have some kind of transport system that makes working with them more manageable. I figure that a guy treats the card wallet like a "satellite" and probably has a "mother ship" wallet somewhere else. Maybe in the car. This way he could add and subtract from the card wallet as he sees fit.
Put in your gym membership card, take out your Barnes and Noble card...and so on and so on. But surely it isn't safe or smart leaving your belongings in the car like that. Plus the "mother ship" concept takes away from the whole idea of simplifying your life...doesn't it?

Finally, there is the matter of cash. The slit in a card wallet is really too small to hold more than a couple of bills in my opinion. This would be the deal breaker for me.
What if I was in a rush and wanted to get a 59 cent cookie at 7/11 and all I had in my card wallet was a twenty dollar bill? I couldn't imagine trying to stuff all the change I would get back in that little slit. It would be embarrassing. Do I have to run around 7/11 frantically searching to find other items to purchase to avoid getting back a lot of bills?
No...I would probably become exasperated and say to the 7/11 lady, "Look, keep the change...please. As you can see I am trying to simplify my life with this card wallet and all this change does not fit into my new lifestyle."

The more I think about it, the more I am certain I am not cut out for a card wallet.

.alt>chatter- A Beautiful Day in NYC- THANK GOD

Phone conversation this morning with a too uptight New Yorker:

Friend from NYC: It is sooooooo beautiful this weekend. It's going to be sunny and in the 70s again today!
Altmike: That's great.
Friend from NYC: You don't sound enthusiastic. Are you jealous?
Altmike: Um no I live in Florida. Remember? It is sunny and beautiful most of the time here so I guess I just take it for granted.
Friend from NYC: YEAH WELL I HAVE AT LEAST 48 INDIAN RESTAURANTS I CAN ORDER TAKEOUT FROM AT 3AM ON ANY GIVEN NIGHT YOU BITCH.
Altmike: ...as you keep reminding me.

ALTernating channels- Rosie Gives Up

Say what you will about Rosie but I love her.
For me it was a very sad moment on "The View" when she basically threw her hands up the morning after the Virginia Tech massacre and said
"We will never have gun control in this country".

When Rosie gives up, it isn't a good.

The Spirit of Sanjaya

Grabbed an early dinner with a "Bunch of Bloggers" last night at this restaurant .
In attendance was Sorted, Mikell, Orlando's resident non-resident Lewis, and a new cat in our group Ctocity.

Hard to miss the irony considering what would be the fate of Sanjaya later in the evening.

Nan tara bhetuyaa  Sanjaya