Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Andy Roddick

Airbrushed:


Had to laugh when I saw the story of tennis star Andy Roddick, this Men's Fitness cover, and the obvious airbrush job on his guns....which he openly admits.


Just to clarify....
You can play tennis and have big guns.



Not airbrushed:


I'm just sayin'...

How rude of me

Hi there.

I am taking a wee break from blogging because I have been busy with this and that.

I didn't really tell you I was leaving for a little bit...HOW RUDE OF ME.


I will be back real soon because I have some things to say.

See you soon and thanks for keeping up with me......

.alt>mike

Saturday, May 12, 2007

.alt> recollection- The earwig



So I stopped to have a mid-afternoon snack the other day, and while I was reading about the spider that crawled into the little boy's ear, I remembered something from long ago and far away....


The following is an .alt>mike recollection....



When I was growing up in the middle ages there was a sci fi show called "Night Gallery" I would always watch even though it was on past my bedtime. It was an anthology series hosted by Rod Serling that was somewhat similar to his hit TV show called "The Twilight Zone"from the 1960s. "Night Gallery" stories were mysterious and spooky, and altogether ooky-
oh wait, hang on that was something else....

.
Anyway, one story involved this man who was complaining of an earache and how his Doctor discovered that an earwig had made it's way into his ear canal. Side note- the whole "earwigs like to hang out in people's ears" thing is an old wives tale.
They were going to operate on him the next morning....but when he woke up the Doctor examined him and determined that miraculously the earwig made it's way through his brain and came out the other ear! It was like a one in ten million chance that that could happen!

That was the good news.

The bad news was that the earwig was a female and laid a whole bunch of eggs in his brain and they were about to hatch. The last scene was the man's reaction to the news of the soon to be hatching eggs- a loud scream that scared the shit out of me for the remainder of my childhood.
Just wanted to share.

Have a great day everybody!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

As heard in Starbucks

As heard in Starbucks on Colonial Avenue yesterday 10:05AM

Lady #1: Did you hear it's going to drop to 65 degrees tonight?

Lady #2: Yeah I knew this whole global warming stuff was bullshit.

Monday, May 07, 2007

ALTernative Reality- GayDays


It's coming. Like an approaching hurricane for which there is no escape-
Gay Days- The mega weekend plus at Disney and surrounding attractions.
And it's less than 30 days away.


"OMG! Got to get to the gym!

OMG! Got to get a bathing suit for Beach Ball!
OMG! Got to start barfing up anything fattening I am eating!"

This is an Orlando thing.
If you are a gay man in Orlando there is a good chance you:
a. are saying this now.
b. know someone saying this now.
c. are overhearing someone saying this now.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Muscles



According to "muscular" sources,
www.bigmuscle.com is OUT.
www.realjock.com is IN.
I know this because a guy in the gym said so eloquently today,
"There are a bunch of girlie men on bigmuscle.com....and just cuz they got muscles don't make em jocks".

I just thought you all would like to know.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

ALTernating Channels-
Barbara Walters is a Cheeseball

Oy! The continuing deteriorating Barbara Walters.
Sanity is slipping away.
Here are "excerpts" from her 20/20 special the other night on transgendered children.
Enjoy.





Tuesday, May 01, 2007

We have something you don't have!!!!


I love Orlando!
Can you believe that someone here came up with the idea of a musical featuring the songs of 80's pop princess Debbie Deborah Gibson? "Electric Youth" premiering this Saturday at the Starlight Dinner Theater features fourteen of Debbie Gibson's most-loved songs, including "Out of the Blue," "Only in My Dreams," and "Lost in Your Eyes."
Other than agreeing to let the producers use her music, she had nothing to do with putting together this show (She might find herself saying that a lot on May 6).

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Mixed emotions! I love Debbie Deborah. But Oy! The story is kind of wild. They are definitely going with an Abba/Mamma Mia type show....though they seemed to forget the most important element of that hit musical.
KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID.
You can explain the plot of Mamma Mia in one sentence----
"On the eve of her wedding, a young woman reads her mother's diary and invites her three possible fathers to the attend the wedding."

Now compare that with the plot of "Electric Youth" taken from a press release.
Hold on and try to follow along....it won't be easy. I am NOT making this up:
"The story follows the adventures of a young couple from New York City named Randy and Tasha, who are recently engaged. The duo travel to the rural community of Fern Hill, Minnesota, to announce the news to Randy's parents. Upon their arrival, Randy and Tasha discover that Fern Hill is facing bankruptcy, and that the Wilsons are in danger of losing their farm, thanks to the mean-spirited machinations of wealthy town spinster, Emma Van Horn. Randy and Tasha, because of their experience working in a bank, hatch a plan to restore Fern Hill's economy by creating more places in the sleepy town for its local teens to frequent......

Wait there's more---

When Emma hears of their plans, she convinces her nephew, Keith, a more underhanded specimen than she is, to find out the specifics, so she can thwart Tasha and Randy's efforts. Keith finds just such an opportunity when he learns that Randy's younger sister, Kris, has been harboring a secret crush on him, and uses this to his full advantage. When Keith meets Tasha,
however, he in turn falls madly in love with her, and schemes to drive her and Randy apart.

And then the big climax---

How Tasha and Randy find their way back to each other, outwit Emma and Keith, and save Fern Hill, is the premise that drives the story of Electric Youth.

My God dreadfully wonderful....right? Maybe a kink or two they have to work out before it gets to Broadway...you think?


Listen I have to admit something....

I was partial to Tiffany even though Debbie grew up one town over from me in Merrick Long Island. Let's face it, as much as they tried to downplay it, it was definitely Tiffany vs. Debbie and this was light years before Britney vs. Christina.


Debbie was the prom queen.
Tiffany represented all the peeps from the wrong side of the tracks. She was the dirty girl. While Debbie was singing "Lost Inside Your Eyes", Tiffany was "I Think We're Alone Now".

Debbie was all about making out.
Tiffany was all about....sex.

Am I the only human being in the world who sees how picture perfect the casting would be of these two in a touring company of WICKED...the MUSICAL?

Well that is down the road for sure.
First up is "Electric Youth" at the lovely Starlight Dinner Theater here in Orlando starting May 5.
Here is the kicker.
Deborah Gibson herself is scheduled to attend the opening night performance. I definitely need to go that night to see this show.
but I need to go and experience this with a true thespian.
Hmmmmmmm......I know.
I'll get
actorschmactor to go with me.





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