American Idol- The Saga of Antonella

She sucked last week.
She sucked this week.
Apparently....
She may have sucked....alot.

And I say....
So what!

She should be off the show because she sucked.
Not because she may have.... sucked.

At this moment

I want nothing more than this.

What do you crave?

Monday Morning (ish) Mashup! Volume 1

Some background on the psychology of blogging.....

My blog buddy "Spider" has his site running like clockwork. For example, on Sunday mornings when you power up your computer and check out his blog ,you will find S.U.N.D.A.Y S.N.I.P.P.E.T.S (which, by the way, spells out "S.T.A.N.D. U.P. E.N. P.I.S.S." if you juggle the letters around) . It is as reliable as the Sunday newspaper arriving at your doorstep. Nobody does it like Spider. "Warm and Fuzzy Fridays", "Meaningful Mondays", and my favorite "What the FUCK were you THINKING? Thursdays". We call this "destination blogging" (actually I call it this, I am not sure anyone else does). It is a very effective way to get readers on a routine to check out your blog systematically. This is why everyone reads A Spider's Web in Thornton Park.

PS...."Sorted Lives" does this also.....well.... sort of.

Anyhoo...

I am going to attempt to try a little destination blogging myself. Welcome to the first installment of ALTMIKE's MONDAY MORNING MASHUP. Just in case you don't know what a mashup is...read this. I happen to be a mashup freak. I love them. I find it fascinating when someone takes perfectly good music and ends up bastardizing the song to the point of no return by mixing it with another song. I particularly like finding a new song mixed with an old school one- kind of like the new song paying homage and giving respect to the old song which inspired it.
My thought process here is to find a fun mp3 every week and post it here on Monday mornings. Just a little burst of energy to help get the work week going. AND I KNOW IT ISN'T MONDAY MORNING DAMMIT BUT GIVE ME A BREAK I AM TRYING TO DO THE BEST I CAN!!!!!

Therefore...

Being acutely aware of my strengths ("another good idea Mike!") and weaknesses ("Mike will REALLY be able to COMMIT to putting this feature on your blog at the SAME TIME EVERY WEEK particularly the morning after a once in a blue moon night out with Brad for one dollar Long Island ice teas at the Savoy?")....

the end result is this...

.
ALTMIKE'S MONDAY MORNING (ish) MASHUP

You will be able to preview the week's selection on the media player on the right. See it? Just press play. If you like you can use one of the links below to get the music. The song will have active links for a limited time so keep that in mind. :)

This week it is Christina Aguilera's "Aint No Other Man" vs. Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me Round". This mixture from hell I call "Ain't No Other Dead or Alive Man".
Now I didn't put this together and I would give props to the person who did if I knew who it was because it really is a flawless mashup.
Hope you like....let me know your thoughts.

And....

Don't forget to check back Monday morning sometime early next week to find the next installment of:
ALTMIKE's MONDAY MORNING (ish) MASHUP.




Download: "Ain't No Other Dead or Alive Man"
Purchase: Christina Aguilera "Back to Basics" CD from Amazon
Purchase: Dead or Alive "Evolution- The Hits" CD from Amazon

The Only Thing Certain

I was hoping that they were like me and would want to hover at 39 for as long as they could.
But no.
The US Postal Service has proposed raising the price of a stamp two cents.
This will blow us past the perfect 40 cent stamp that would have made a book of 20 an even 8 dollars.
At 41 cents a piece I would have to purchase 100 stamps at one time in order to avoid change. This got me thinking about....

The lengths I have gone to in my life to avoid change.

Separated at Birth?

Enjoy the Oscars.

I'm Gonna Let You Go

Tonight a friend of mine decided he had enough of talking to me on the phone and tried to end our chat by saying "I'm gonna let you go".

Feeling dismissed I found myself shrieking back "Dammit you are NOT in control of this conversation I am going to let YOU go you ASS WIPE!".

I managed to hang up the phone first and felt better after I scarfed down 4 chocolate chip cookies from 7/11.

American Idol- It Pays to be Pretty (Shitty)

According to American Idol predictions the 2 top men vote getters this week (meaning they are NOT going home) are Sanjaya Malakar (pretty) and Sundance Head (shitty).

For the women its of course Lakisha ("And I am telling you I am not going") Jones and um......Antonella Barba (pretty/shitty).

It looks like those that are just plain boring are going to get their walking papers tonight:
Men: Paul Kim (damn I want him to stay to satisfy my foot fetish), Nicholas Pedro (who?)
Women: Amy Krebs ("I can't make you love me, if you don't...." ....we don't), Alania Alexander ("I'm special.....so special...."....no you are not).

Apparently Paul Kim has wasted no time in thinking about his next career move. He got his shoes on and is hard at work here.

Introducing Joss Stone.....Again

I laughed my ass head off this morning watching VH1's Top 20 Countdown. There at number 20 was the "latest", "defining", and "groundbreaking" video from Joss Stone. "Tell Me 'Bout It" is the first single from her new CD- "Introducing Joss Stone" (though a better title might be "Reintroducing Joss Stone" or better yet "Take Joss Stone.....PLEASE!")
Have you heard of Joss? If so, you must watch gobs of VH1 because that is really the only place you can hear her music in the states. The video channel has tried relentlessly to shove this "teenage blue eyed soul queen" down our throats for the past 3 years though she has yet to take off. To me, she just doesn't sound authentic. A soul diva needs...um... soul and I don't hear it in her music. Yes it is true she is a Grammy Award nominee and that one of her songs even landed in Billboard's top 10 for an ever so brief stint.
To that I say....hmmmmmmm.

I just find it amazing how VH1 sticks with Joss through thick and thin.
What a loyal beast.

I wish VH1 was my boyfriend.

Worth the Weight?

Driving from Lauderdale back home to Orlando today, I stumbled across this sign and wondered-

Just how many pounds of food do we eat in one sitting?

Did You Have Fun?

I have been playing my first Clay Court Tennis Tournament in Fort Lauderdale this weekend. Being relatively new to tournament play there are some "social rules" of the game that I am still learning.
For example, when you meet up with someone after one of their matches you should never ever ask "Did you win?" unless you are certain this player has won. Otherwise, there is a strong chance that this person lost (remember 1 out of 2 players lose). If your friend lost you might as well insert your foot in your mouth.
A better way to broach the subject is to ask "Did you play well?". This way, as the saying goes, it's not all about winning....it is about how you played the game. Plus if this person won their match they can be the one who tells you the good news.

Finally, there is the dreaded "Did you have fun?". This line is reserved for those players who you are pretty sure lost their match and you don't even want to bring up the win/lose thing at all. Your goal here is to get in and out of the conversation quickly so that you can move on to pressing items like dinner plans.

Just in case you are wondering how I did in Fort Lauderdale.....

I had fun. I had a shitload of fun. Thanks for asking.

They Are Always Around

While driving in downtown Orlando suburbia today I stumbled upon an intersection which had the following message posted in sign form overhead:
"No right on red when children are present".

A joke?
Aren't children always around?
I certainly felt their "presence" when they were sitting behind me on Flight 798 Las Vegas to Orlando last Tuesday kicking my seat like there was no tomorrow.

A Slow Burn

I went to the movies and saw The Last King of Scotland today. I got to thinking that the commercials before movies are parallel to global warming.

Something that kind of crept up on us....
Something that we kind of gave into ....
and possibly something that can be controlled.

The Critics Agree.....

It completely pisses me off when I see a movie trailer or preview which starts out with the words "The critics agree...."
Who exactly are these "critics"?
I have no idea what they all agree on (and doubt that EVERY SINGLE CRITIC agrees) and even if each and every critic agreed that the particular movie is good I wouldn't go see it because I hate the idea that these marketing folks use THE CRITICS as the barometer to gauge whether the film could get me laid would be worthwhile for me to see.

Miss Hit

The new Katharine McPhee solo CD is yet one more example of a former American Idol contestant resorting to "lowest common denomination of pop" blandness. Kind of like watching grass turn brown. What a shame because I think she has a lot of talent though she certainly isn't her.