Saturday, March 17, 2007

I got a cold in my doze

Today I had a cold so I stayed at home by myself crawled up on the couch wallowing away in self pity immersed in flannel, fuzzy slippers downing Too jays chicken noodle soup by the pint while watching the vh1 marathon countdown of the "100 most shocking moments in rock and roll"(#75 was Carnie Wilson's stomach staple operation which she had broadcast live on the Internet) .

My friend called me and said my voice was so hoarse I sounded like the love child of Harvey Fierstein and the once tampon laden Brenda Vaccaro.

The thing that pisses me off about the common cold experience is how we actually sabotage ourselves with the medications we take. For example, you take pills because your nose is runny, runny, runny, runny, runny and then BAM!!!! All of a sudden you are completely stuffed up. Stuffy probably because you were taking pills to dry the runny-ness and they did too good of a job. Basically, you have helped the cold morph into something else just when you were starting to get the hang of it!

Earlier today my runny-ness turned stuffy so feeling like a total slug I decided to go out to get a different set of cold pills. Upon coming face to face with the Walgreen's "Cold Remedy Wall" I was overwhelmed. So many brands to choose from. While every year there are new concoctions on the shelves (Airborne, Mucinex), it seems the old "workhorses" (Benadryl, Comtrex, Dristan) never die. Who the hell takes Dristan? I think they should set up a "spy cam" or something in Walgreen's to see if ANYONE ever buys Dristan.
And now every pain reliever has jumped on the cold medication bandwagon. There's Aleve Cold and Sinus, Advil Allergy Relief...etc. I think of taking Advil when I sprain my ankle, NOT when my nose is runny. It's hard to imagine that one brand of pill can cure multiple illnesses. To me these brands are just greedy. What's next...Advil Diarrhea Relief?
I feel like shaking Advil and saying, "Stay in your own area! Stick to what you are good at!".

Then there is the whole drowsy or non- drowsy thing.
Sometimes I just have enough time to take....a nap. In this instance should I take just half of a drowsy pill? Or should I mix a drowsy pill with a non drowsy pill and hope for the best?
Honestly does anyone really believe that 12 hour medication has ANY effect after 8 hours?
If I take a decongestant does that mean that my phlegm-y stuff is going to loosen up and my nose is going to run even more?
If I have some Benadryl allergy relief medication left over from hay fever season can I use that for my cold? Is it the same as the cold medication?
Does a caplet work better than a gel cap?
What happens if I don't have a sore throat but I only have medication that includes sore throat relief? Will I be over medicating?
Does anyone ever use generic cold relief medication?
If a product called "Wal-dryl" has the same ingredients as "Benadryl" why would it work as well and cost 30% less? If I take the generic am I am going to feel 30% less better?

I ended up buying Benadryl D nighttime cold relief. Who knows if this stuff is going to work.
However, it's a sure bet that the half pint of Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream purchased on my way home will work its magic and make me feel a whole lot better.


Kevin said...

Feel better.

Bobby said...


I bet you could SO use some matzah ball soup from the UWS!

Cures everything I have discovered!

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