A mutant life of its own

FIRST OFF THIS PICTURE ISN'T ME!!!!!


Altmike has the toughest beard known to mankind.
This has been confirmed by the barbers who work in the shop where I get shaved.
According to the barbers, my beard is so robust that the hair grows in multiple directions.
It takes a minimum of four separate mach3 razors for them to get me a close shave.
You think I am kidding? I kid you not.



Each time I call to make an appointment I envision the three barbers drawing straws to see who is the unlucky schlub that gets the thankless job of tackling my stubble.
Gordon, the senior of the barbers says that he can actually see my beard growing back at the same time he is shaving it off.
It is as if my beard has a mutant life of its own.
Three weeks ago I stopped attempting to shave it myself entirely because the up and down motion from sparring with my own whiskers inflamed my tennis elbow.
Seriously.