Thursday, March 29, 2007

.alt>mike midweek rant! Razor Blades


I cannot believe how much money I am spending on razor blades. Why isn't there a revolt? I wake up each morning hoping that some hairy bear somewhere has put together a boycott asking us to forgo shaving for a month to display our disapproval over the price of these absurd items. Twelve Mach 3 blades cost me $22.99. Insanity. Each blade is only good on my heavy beard for two shaves before I have to replace.
And this whole business of multiple blades. Can you even find a package of single blade cartridges anywhere? I don't know about you but as a "manscaper" I find it a bit "edgy" using 3 blades...down....there.
If you happen to be the one guy that is still shaving with a single edge let me offer you a simple piece of advice. Don't start experimenting with multiple edges like the Mach 3 or the Quattro. If you do you will never come back. Single edges will just not "cut it" anymore.
Basically, something happens to your beard and it becomes spoiled and demanding- resistant to anything but multiple sharp edged expensive blades.
As for the razor companies it's really just Gillette and Schick. Damn them. So close to a monopoly. Not fair. They control the pricing and we follow like sheep. Shouldn't there be price control guidelines for products we have to use every day? Stamps? Starbucks? Razors?
When Gillette has a new product they usually send suckers like me a sample razor in the mail and like a moron I try it out. A month ago I got this ridiculous "Fusion" blade sample that has a total of 6 sharp edges (5 on the blade plus a sixth side burn trimmer).
How exactly would you explain to aliens from another planet that you use a 5 bladed razor on your face?
It sounds stupid just typing it out.
Well of course the experience of using this blade has made my beard "immune" to all other razors that have come before it. I cannot get a close shave with anything other than the Fusion. I jumped from 3 edges to 5 edges....my beard actually "leapfrogged" over the Quattro (4 edges).
I don't think my beard likes even numbers.
The cost per Fusion blade is something like $3.50. Crazy!

I am sad to say that I have a feeling it will only get worse.
Where exactly will we be a year from now? 8 edges that will actually remove 3 layers of your skin when you shave?
Listen up Gillette, I got the name-

The "Ouch-o".

8 comments:

Mike said...

I finally had to give up the expensive blades and I switched to disposable razors. Surprisingly, I've been able to get five or six shaves from one double blade disposable as opposed to two or three from the other...I'm pleased, and my face actually feels a lot better.

Lewis said...

I know many people who have switched to the disposable....which are still made by those same companies...so they're still getting your $$$. I say SCREW THE SHAVING. Skip it. We buy our blades (don't even know what they are) from Target or Walgreens (used to be from Wal Mart...but that's now on the boycott list).....Target used to have their generic version of a premium blade....but no longer offer it. Watch for sales prices. I never pay full price. And, please, my dear....be careful "down there"......I'd hate to hear that there's been trouble in Happy Land.

Kendall said...

I thought you were going to rant about the inhumanity of Sanjayah still being around LOL!

I use the Mach 3 as well, but you must be more manly than I, I only change blades once a week.

As for manscaping, I still use disposable down there.

Kevin said...

I've upgraded to some of the "higher end" models for face shaving, and I have to say the added single blade on the Gillette Fusion is a Godsend. Plus I like the vibrating action.

I do tend to use my older razors (new but less fancy blades) for "down there" -- at least until I run out.

However multiple blades "down there" haven't been a problem ... so far.

Kevin said...

And I never would have guessed you have a heavy beard. The none time I met you, you seemed so ... clean shaven ... which was odd for it being after 6pm.

Paul said...

I went back to "basic" blades: Gillette Good News Plus. Only two blades plus a Lubrastrip®. Any you know, it works great. Particularly for my balls. The only thing better would be if I had help.

Bobby said...

Helpful Hints:

Always shave after your skin has been heated and is soft (toward the end of a hot shower is best)!

Use hot water to clean your razor after you finish.

Place your razor into a small cup of Listerine to keep bacteria from growing on it.

You should get 15-20 shaves out of a blade if you do this babe! Keeping it in the listerine means no break outs!

xoxo
Me

altmike said...

Mike...I will give disposables a try.
Lewis....generics don't seem to work for me...maybe I am a snob.
Kendall....Stick with Sanjaya!
Kevin...actually I shaved a half hour before I saw you that night.
Paul...I would be there for you if I was in NYC. That's what friends are for.
Bobby...I can only DREAM about getting 15 shaves from one blade. Will Scope work as well I wonder?

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