Klutz

According to Wikipedia, the definition of Klutz:

A person who is clumsy, foolish, inept, or accident-prone. The term is perhaps derived from the Yiddish klots ('wooden beam'), cognate with the German klotz, meaning a "block" or "lump".

Definition according to me:

One who takes his own tennis racquet and swings a powerful forehand and smacks his own jaw.
Can you imagine? I didn't even THINK it was possible to do such a thing.



I am a klutz.

"Due to Unusual Call Volume....."

Does any company think we actually buy that crap? The new DEFAULT voice mail message for corporate America is

"Due to unusual call volume you may experience a longer than usual hold time blah blah blah blah blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!"

What a waste of time... Are they trying to piss us off further? When was the last time you called customer service and actually got a human being right off the bat? What really gets me is the bigger the company...The more annoying the customer service. Today was the worst. I had to call my health care provider because I got an email saying they were going to stop my coverage unless I contacted them IMMEDIATELY. I was so panicked I forgot to flush the toilet in a frantic attempt to get to the phone. I dialed and prepared myself for what I knew was inevitable....A minimum 30 minute session in hell....

"Did you know that you can access your account online and get answers to frequently asked questions blah blah BLAH blah BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!"


"Please say or choose from the following options......"
I DON'T LIKE ANY OF YOUR OPTIONS....HOW DO I BYPASS THIS NINE STEP PROGRAM TO GO DIRECTLY TO "INDIRA" THE FRIENDLY INDIAN VOICE THAT WOULD ACTUALLY TRY TO HELP ME IF SHE UNDERSTOOD THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE????" (Hello this is Indira, how can I help you? Do you have your account number? No? How about the name of your second favorite pet who is no longer living?)

"I did not understand your command....please repeat"

G-d forbid you happen to make a mistake during STEP 6 and you hear...

"I did not understand....goodbye".


It's over. Just like that. No recourse whatsoever.

Only thing left to do...start the whole process again....

"Due to unusual call volume......"


Insanity.

Feelings....Nothing More Than Feelings...

Every once in a while I feel something. Like...an emotion. Even if it is fleeting, it's good to know that I still have the capacity to feel.