.alt>idol- Lucky Bucky

Good Gawd Bucky! What the fucky!

When he was on American Idol I thought he was... kind of sucky.
Yet Bucky Covington is the latest American Idol NON winner to land a CD in Billboard's Top10. His self titled debut is "Bucky Covington" debuts at #4 on the Hot 200 album chart and debuts #1 on the country charts. You know how those country music fans are, they will listen and buy anything!

I guess it makes little difference whether you win or lose American Idol...the exposure helps you sell records. Wait I take that back. It seems it is better if you don't win American Idol. Case in point- winner Taylor Hicks. Remember him? Taylor is like the unwanted step child of AI. It is like the show is embarrassed about him. His album really didn't do much on the charts and can you even remember the name of his hit single? That was a trick question. Of course you can't! He hasn't had one. They didn't even let him perform during "Idol Gives Back" this week. Not very charitable.

Interesting fact-
At this point last year, there were nine Idol-related singles on the charts, including Bo’s “The Real Thing,” Kelly’s “Walk Away,” “Because of You,” and “Gone,” and Carrie’s “Jesus, Take the Wheel,” “Don’t Forget to Remember Me,” and “Before He Cheats.” George Huff (who?) and Josh Gracin also had singles on the charts.
This year, there are 16 singles, charting across nine different charts, a 43 percent increase.

Amazing. Not to mention all the artists who perform and mentor on the show and how the albums by the likes of Barry Manilow, Tony Bennett and Gwen Stefani see major sales spikes the week following their involvement on the show.

Which idolers are next on the horizon with new albums?
Well Kimberly Locke will be back May 1 with a new collection titled "Based on a True Story". Her single “Change”is already inching closer to the Top Ten on the Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks chart. It now sits at #11. There is a dance version of this song floating out in the clubs. My God did I dance to it and didn't realize it at the Parliament House two weeks ago? Go Kimberly! She is one of my fave alumnus.

Paris Bennett's Princess P follows on May 8.
After that it is Mandisa with her new single "Only One World" dropping on May 11, with the CD to follow on July 31.

And you know it's only a matter of time....
I can almost hear Sanjaya doing his vocal exercises...

Me, me me me MEEEEEEE!

American Idol- Who will be eliminated this week?

No one.

Is American Idol going to eliminate someone tonight? Me thinks not. Big charity event, charity concert....they will probably announce that text messaging has also been "donated" by sponsor and everybody will feel good about themselves.

Particularly Lekisha who would have gone home tonight.

The Spirit of Sanjaya

Grabbed an early dinner with a "Bunch of Bloggers" last night at this restaurant .
In attendance was Sorted, Mikell, Orlando's resident non-resident Lewis, and a new cat in our group Ctocity.

Hard to miss the irony considering what would be the fate of Sanjaya later in the evening.

Nan tara bhetuyaa  Sanjaya

Sanjaya Strips

Last night was pretty dreadful on American Idol, though Jordin's performance was the best of the year.

1. Quote of the night. Ryan Seacrest "When were looking for a country mentor for tonight, there was only one choice....."
I was thinking to myself...."Dolly Parton! They got Dolly!...or Reba....or....George Strait....
I really didn't think Martina McBride qualifies as "there was only one choice" material. She does have beautiful eyes though.
Phil- Sounded ok but man he is so spooky.
Jordin. Hope y'all are with me now. This is the week she becomes the front runner.
Sanjaya- well, um....he looked great. Where do I get that bandanna thingy? Bottom 3 this week.
Lakisha- bottom 3 with a dreadful take on Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel".
Chris- Not sure what the song was. He definitely sounded country. I just don't think America will relate to him this week. Bottom 3. I think he realized that he was in trouble and started pandering to the audience regarding the VT massacre victims. Not appropriate. Simon was right for rolling his eyes...though his reaction will be misinterpreted for sure...and his attempt at "fixing" at the end of the show was awkward to say the least.
Melinda- Another great "Vegas" style performance. The best was Simon asking her not to act "surprised" when he says that she was fantastic. Isn't it amazing how Simon really does say what we are all thinking at home?
Blake- Affected. Staged...and oh. Off key! Stop twirling aimlessly. The judges love you regardless but I don't buy it Blakey. Safe this week.



And now.....the reason you are here....
Sanjaya strips.

.alt>idol- Sucking Up To Sanjaya

Regardless of what you think about Sanjaya...
Did you notice how everyone on American Idol was trying to kiss his ass this week?
Even the very first moment of last night's result show was Ryan kidding with him about "who is going to be leaving" (a sure sign that he was going nowhere once again).
And J-LO just couldn't stop gushing.

While he was performing Besame Mucho, Sanjaya got the flattering camera angles (they reserve the real close "up the nostril" cam for only the top crowd favorites)......
Plus he got the prime placement of singing last usually reserved for Melinda.
Seems like they certainly are putting a lot of attention on the boy.

Hmmmmmm.......
Could it be that somewhere, someone realizes....that ...well....just maybe....by chance....
he might....
just might.....
be _____________________ ??????????

Tony Bennett and Sanjaya

Ok let's get the whole Sanjaya bashing thing off to a rip roaring start....since this week, like last week, and the week before that...he isn't going anywhere. Certainly not home.

You want to argue with Tony Bennett who is completely in line with my thoughts on Sanjaya?

“Shows up. He comes up with something every week. He’s very interesting. He’s got a sense of humor, and he sings very well.”

Somebody is voting for him. And let me make this clear. Though Howard Stern and votefortheworst.com would love to take credit for keeping Sanjaya in the competition and undermining the show, I doubt seriously if all the votes produced by a satellite radio guy and an internet site most Americans are not even aware of would even register as a blip on the voting radar screen.

As you can see by the article in the New York Post, Sanjaya-mania is a fact. Kids are trying to get his hair style and he is the most "googled" American Idol contestant bar none...from all seasons. Hmmmmm....sounds like a....pop idol!

Face it. We are in trouble if thirty and forty-something year old' popular music tastes are aligned with teenagers. Hard as it may be to fathom, if you are reading this.... you are probably old. Probably too old to understand that Sanjaya relates on some level to kids who actually dial the phone to vote for their favorites on the show. Yes folks, he may not sing perfectly. But he has a confidence about him that translates to star quality. Since when does singing alone make a pop star?
Remember what old people said the first time they heard a rap song? A hip- hop song? The Beatles? Elvis? Something like, "this isn't music" and maybe "what's with that hair?"
Young people do their own thing....sometimes it doesn't make sense to us oldsters. So as American Idol tries to attract more "adult" viewers by raising the age limits of it's contestants, I am glad that it looks like a young contestant might have a shot of winning...the way it should be. NOT Sanjaya. My hope is that seventeen year old Jordin Sparks wins this year. She is what the show should be about in my opinion. And an American Idol win for her can possibly do something meaningful for her career.

Which leads me to this....
What exactly will an American Idol win do for Melinda Doolittle? Land her a "plumb" position on the Jerry Lewis Telethon? Secure her a leading role in the broadway revival of "Ain't Misbehavin'? I don't mean to sound cynical but thank God that Jennifer Hudson lost American Idol. Her losing probably did more for her career than a win might have.

So you sit on your couch and applaud politely for the very talented, Vegas-ready older contestants, while the kids get on the phone to dial for their favorites....

......And all logic gets thrown to the wind.
The way it should be.

Yup. I am for Sunjaya.

As heard on American Idol tonight:

RANDY: "I'm speechless every time. The hairdo is... interesting."

PAULA: "If you had the gumption, if you had the ability to totally go for it, then it would fit the wackiness of the faux-hawk."

SIMON: "I presume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight....I don't think it matters what we say anymore....if people like you, good luck."

You know what I think about Sanjaya. He is his own guy with balls of steel. Is that enough of a reason to vote him to be the American Idol? Probably not. But I remember him every week which is more than I can say about some of the other "who is that" performers. Sanjaya is safe again this week...he won't be going anywhere.
I bet you are going to hear about his hair all week long....and little girls boys all around the world are going to want to have a faux hawk just like Sanjaya who is pictured here-




ROCK ON LITTLE MAN!!!!! .altmike is with you.


PS....
Goodbye Hayley your time is up. Look for Chris Sligh to be at the bottom as well.
Great performance by Gina! Phil Stacey you spook me!

ALTernating channels

This is my every so often review of what is happening on the tube. The child below is of no relation, thank you very much. It is our "ALTernating channels" poster child.... changing the channel as we move from one show to another.

AMERICAN IDOL ON FOX

Did you see little Ashley on American Idol last night? She wasn't one of the contestants but she stole the show with her lack of restraint. Watch the youtubes below if you need to catch up or get a refresher. Anyway I just have to let her know what I am thinking....

Dear Ashley,

You had me at *sniffle*. I was with you little one. Sanjaya was rocking the house. You couldn't control yourself...I was almost crying myself. Finally, an American Idol moment that Sanjaya could OWN!!!!

And then THIS happened:



Ashley, why the hell are you crying for Nell Carter Melinda Doolittle?
And at the end of the show you were crying for everyone else for crying out loud get a grip Ashley.

Don't get me wrong I love Nell Melinda . I love her 40 year old self. Oh puleez. Every morning I wake up and wonder "Is this the morning the Smoking Gun is going to expose her true age and that she is a mother of 3 with a prison record?"
They keep asking her if she is as nice as she says she is. Geez if someone asked me that question even I would say I was nice too! What are you going to say? "No Simon, I am an evil, evil, old bitter jaded person."
Even if she "pulls one over" the media... to what end? Ok so she is going to win American Idol....and do what? Vegas? Carnival Cruise Lines? Bottom line Melinda can sing like nobody's business but she isn't going to sell records to a pop audience and silly me I thought that what American Idol was all about. That is why I am with Sanjaya, or Jordin Sparks. These two are the total package and they have the ability to sell a lot of records to a lot of young people.

Oh and Ashley, if I can offer you but one piece of advice it would be this. Give your heart. But be selective. In later years you may find the quarterback of your high school football team to be attractive, but that doesn't mean you have to love your way through the linebackers, defensive ends, and cornerbacks to get to him. Do you understand what I am getting at here Ashley? Trust me, I know.

PS- I think it is curtains tonight for Stephanie. If you are saying "Who dat?" there, in itself, lies the problem with Stephanie.

WORKOUT ON BRAVO


I am not a lesbian.
If I was, I would probably watch the "L" Word on Showtime.

But I would never ever ever miss an episode of "Workout" on Bravo which started it's second season last night. Why? Because lesbos need their ultimate fantasies just like gay guys. Just in case you don't know the premise of this reality-esque show, it is a supposedly unscripted series detailing the dramas at an elite Beverly Hills gym called Sky Sport & Spa. The show chronicles the demanding owner's efforts to build the business, manage her trainers and satisfy her select clientele.

Translation- Jackie the power bitch gets to boss around everyone in her gym! Big strappin' straight and gay guys just about fall to their knees and hang on her every word. All kinds of women want to be her, want to be like her, want to be with her.

But there are plenty of reasons for guys like us to watch too-

One of the upcoming plots (according to last night's coming attractions) involves a very buff male model who enlists the services of "Jesse" one of the gay male personal trainers who insists that Mr. Model remove his shirt to expose his chiseled chest before he starts his workout with him.

Bravo!

I mean, you can meet the cast of "Workout" on the Bravo website .
If you missed any episodes from last season or this season's premiere, don't worry they will play it like six hundred times overs the next week.

Till next time ALTernating Channels over and out.

The Monday Morning Mashup Vol 4- Coldplay vs. The Temptations

Just in case you don't know what a mashup is...read this.




Last week on American Idol contestant Chris Sligh attempted a Coldplay infused version of "Endless Love"- the Diana Ross/Lionel Ritchie classic. Though we give him an "A" for effort, it was kind of off. I think that particular ballad just wasn't suited for the arrangement. But this mashup of Coldplay's "Clocks" (2003) and The Temptations "Papa Was A Rolling Stone" (1971) works rather well. But you can judge for yourself.

Here is Chris Sligh's "Coldplay-ish" performance of "Endless Love" from American Idol last week:

Compare that to the mashup (you can snag it for a limited time!):

Coldplay vs. The Temptations
"Papa Was A Clock"

Dear Ryan and Simon

How about putting an end to the humorless gay banter?
Ok ok we get it. You are friends. This is supposedly harmless wholesome fun. But you know what? I grew up with guys like you. What a throwback! On the playground. In school. In the locker room. And later on at work. It was usually the same drill. Guys like you who made fun of being gay, or try to embarrass others by suggesting they were gay...always seemed to be compensating for some shortage or inadequacy. Never failed. Childish stuff. How old are you guys anyway?
As a gay man it gets to be insulting. Jokes at the expense of others are not cool. Even though there is not a specific target, it is indeed a "below the radar screen" form of bigotry.

Or perhaps Thou Dost Protest too much?
It is getting more and more uncomfortable to watch this back and forth bump and grind between the two of you. Suggestion. If you are "gay curious" then get a room, give it a whirl, and get it out of your system one way or the other. But lets keep it out of the show that is known as"American Idol". Why?....because this is a singing competition....right?

PS.....
Seacrest if you are gay this is a pretty lousy way to come out. Do us a favor. Don't bother.

American Idol- The guys in pictures

Elliott where have you been!

Finally American Idol alumni Elliott Yamin is releasing some music. In fact, if you go to this website there's a free download of the acoustic version of his new track "You Are The One".
I always liked Elliott. I think he can vocally run circles around this one whose CD sales are plummeting quicker than the titanic.

Big Girls Don't Cry (on American Idol)

Sundance this has got to stop....

Really.....it must.

Source

Um....what happened here?

This.....

Became that....

Apparently you can be REALLY gay and America will still love you.....

But there are limits....

American Idol- The Saga of Antonella

She sucked last week.
She sucked this week.
Apparently....
She may have sucked....alot.

And I say....
So what!

She should be off the show because she sucked.
Not because she may have.... sucked.

At this moment

I want nothing more than this.

What do you crave?

American Idol- It Pays to be Pretty (Shitty)

According to American Idol predictions the 2 top men vote getters this week (meaning they are NOT going home) are Sanjaya Malakar (pretty) and Sundance Head (shitty).

For the women its of course Lakisha ("And I am telling you I am not going") Jones and um......Antonella Barba (pretty/shitty).

It looks like those that are just plain boring are going to get their walking papers tonight:
Men: Paul Kim (damn I want him to stay to satisfy my foot fetish), Nicholas Pedro (who?)
Women: Amy Krebs ("I can't make you love me, if you don't...." ....we don't), Alania Alexander ("I'm special.....so special...."....no you are not).

Apparently Paul Kim has wasted no time in thinking about his next career move. He got his shoes on and is hard at work here.

Miss Hit

The new Katharine McPhee solo CD is yet one more example of a former American Idol contestant resorting to "lowest common denomination of pop" blandness. Kind of like watching grass turn brown. What a shame because I think she has a lot of talent though she certainly isn't her.